On Living Long

When is a good age to die? I will be 45 this year, halfway to 90. Ninety seems like a really good age to die. You have lived past your 80's so hopefully you have been blessed with health and feel you have lived a good, long life. However, you don't make it to 100, which is alright because between 90 and 100 I would imagine you spend most of your time checking over your shoulder for the grim reaper anyway.

Much more important to me than how long I live is how well I live.  I don't mean living well in the sense of having nice things and being comfortable, I mean the satisfaction and joy that comes with being independent, able, and of sound mind and body.

My greatest fear when I was young was being "normal." Living as an anonymous, faceless drone doing a job that nobody noticed or cared about. That fear certainly motivated me to pursue a broadcasting career, I loved the idea of being on the radio, of being heard, even more than I loved the actual sports I was covering.
Some people fall in love with sports, and that love leads them to a career in play-by-play. I was the opposite, I loved radio, and my love of being on the air manifested itself in a sports broadcasting career.  Now that I am older and I have come to terms with being both known and unknown, my biggest concern is that I will one day be helpless, unable either mentally or physically, to do the basic, daily tasks that make us human. The things of dignity, respect and self-preservation. I want to be the old man who putters around, running his daily errands, having little adventures. I want to be my own man, always.

I know, however, that the day might come when that is no longer a possibility.  I am fortunate to have two wonderful, caring little girls who I am fairly certain would tolerate me if I become a little old man, ornery and stubborn, but in need of their care. That is not my prayer. My prayer is to be the daddy they know, full of life, light and surprises. A blessing to their kids and even their kids kids, right up until the day the light goes out. Whatever (old) age that may be.